HOPE
by Hermosa06
Summary: Lexie's little girl Hope, has cancer. There is more to Hope than what meets the eye. Hope needs a bone marrow transplant, who is going to donate the marrow?. Relationships are formed, broken and repaired.Dark/Twisty ghost/demons surface. A story about Family, Friends, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Understanding, LOVE and NEW LIFE. Lexie/Mark, Mer/Der, Lexie/Mer, Mark/Der. AU,OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first fic and am extremely nervous about it. its not beta'd so my apologies for all spelling and grammatical errors. Am just trying my hand at writing, so there's no specific style that I followed. Am not a medical student or a doctor, so if I say use the wrong term/s just go with the flow. It's for the sake of the story.**

**This is a Mark/Lexie story (cause they were my favorite couple on the show, and this is the only way I'll continue to enjoy them) but it will also include other characters mainly Derek/Meredith. There will be a lot of DARK and TWISTY, OOC behavior and some mature themes. The story does not follow any specific timelines that are related to the series. Although there may be other time and story lines that I might pick and alter as the plot develops. If I portray anyone's favorite character in a bad way, its just the role that they have in this story do not take offence. I sincerely hope you will enjoy the story and encourage me to continue with constructive criticism.**

**DISCLAIMER:** _I do not own any of the Grey's Anatomy. Though I do own Hope._

_**LPOV:**_

For the longest time in my life it has just been me by myself, no father, no mother, no brother or sister. It was just me, myself and I. And I was good with that and I learnt at a very early age how to take care of myself, protect and provide for myself. Never to expect anything from anyone, that way I would never have any disappointments and that worked well for the longest time. I realized that if I wanted to be someone I had to work hard at it and I had to fight that hardest regardless. And through it all I had to keep the constants, constant.

For many constants are their family, friends, children, spouses or careers, but for me that wasn't the case. For me it was my education, school was and still is my lifeline. When all else has failed I know that academics will always be mine and no one can take that away from me.

But life has always had a way of throwing curve balls at me and that has not stopped since I was five. But this one I don't even know how am going to get through this one and still come out on the other side.

I could see Dr Bailey's mouth move but I couldn't make out what she was saying "Lexie am sorry the results of the tests that we ran indicate that Hope as Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). I recommend that we do a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy to make sure that we have diagnosed her properly and when the results of the biopsy come back I would like do an X-ray , MRI and ultrasound to make sure that the cancer hasn't spread to other organs."

Seriously when had my life become this complicated, at five years all I had to worry about was if I was going to live to see that the next day. And today I worry not only about myself but also about Hope. I like to believe that she is my gift from life from the good that I did in my past life.

"I don't understand Dr Bailey? How could it be possible I mean she only eight for godsake. How?" Am a doctor I know what AML is but what I don;t get is how she could have such a terrible disease, she hasn't done anything wrong in her life except live and be and child. The world is a cruel place I get that, but this kind cruelty was not necessary.

"I don't know Lexie and I wish I had a better answer than that but I don't have. And I wont pretend to know what you must be going through right now because honest to God I don't, but I promise you that I'll do everything I can to help you and Hope. Am going to be her primary physician and I'll make sure that she get the best possible care there is to offer. As a mother myself, I know what it is to feel helpless even when you have so much medical knowledge of what is going on. But Lexie you need to be strong right now, and prepare to fight that hardest for Hope and yourself." Lexie looked at Dr Bailey and knew she was right but I needed time to let it all sink, but that was time I didn't have.

"Okay Dr Bailey tell me what we need to do and am with you, I know that this might seem impulsive on my part and as much as I would want to throw myself a pity party I cant do that right now, so you are Hope's doctor how do we proceed."

Dr Bailey could see that it had taken a lot in Lexie to just jump in and want to get right into treating Hope. "Like I said before we need to do a biopsy so that we are sure and then the X-rays MRI and the ultrasound to ensure that the cancer has spread to other parts of her organs. After we get the results I'll get in touch with Dr Sweender she's the Head of Oncology and we will discuss the best course of treatment . Okay?". All I could do was nod as she let the information sink in.

"And there is one other thing Lexie you can not be on this case and I know that you want to be so that you make sure that everything is the best but you can't. Beside the medical/hospital policy that you can't treat family I think it will be best for your sanity". I wanted to argue with her but the look on Dr Bailey's face just said it all and I agreed with her.

"It's a good that we agree on something its a good start, now if you'll excuse am going to get the paper work ready for the biopsy and I'll send someone to bring Hope up. In the mean time go be with her am sure she's scare out of her mind about whats going on". With that said Dr Bailey made her way to radiology to get things ready for Hope and I made her way to Hope's room.

I have always been honest with Hope regardless and I knew if Hope was going to get through this I will have to honest and open about everything that's how our relationship works. As I entered the room I noticed that Hope was reading, it was our thing, we both loved to read and I loved that Hope had also found a lifeline in academics even at the tender age of eight.

"Hey girlie what are you reading now?". I tried to say that in the most cheery voice I could master but anyone could still tell that there was something off and that didn't go unnoticed by Hope. "The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. I got it from the library yesterday but I had a lot of homework to do so I didn't get a chance to start on it until now."

"Oh and how's it treating you so far?".

"Not that bad considering am back in this hospital for the second time in two weeks . So give it to me what's wrong with this time?". I looked at the little girl that I loved more than anything in the whole world and could not for the life of me believe she had AML. It somehow felt like a cruel joke. I had to fight back the tears that were threatening to come out. I knew that it was now that I had to explain to this innocent seven year old that she had a very rare form of cancer and how bad it was.

Medical school had prepared me for a lot of this, but never in all the years that I spent in school was I taught and prepared on how to tell your child that she has cancer and that she could die.

Just as I was about to answer Dr Bailey entered the room with her first year residents in tow. I had to resist that urge to grown at the residents presents. Its not like Hope was a secret or anything that I was ashamed of, its just the reception I received from them when I first started my internship and the treatment that I have had to endure throughout my time at the hospital that made me really dislike them.

"Hey Dr B you are back?". Hope asked when she spotted her favorite doctor come into the room.

"You bet your cute little self that am back, has Lexie told you whats going on?".

"No she was just about to explain when you graced us with your presence. I think she's stalling cause when she came in she asked about the book am reading, which is funny because she saw me pull it out before the two of you left earlier. So Lex bring it on". Dr Bailey couldn't help but chuckle at the little girl that had so much life in her yet so little.

I rolled her eyes at Hope's comment I couldn't fault her that's how we have always related to each other. "Okay smart mouth you girlie have Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. Dr Bailey is going to run some test to make sure that's what you have and also to see if has spread to your other organs. When the results come back she is going to discuss the results with the". Hope cut me off before she could continue.

"Okay Lex you lost me at acute, I know you and I like to do the whole big word thing, but I don't think that it's working right now. So why don't we go over this one more time but this time let try doing it slow, with simple English and we can go on from there. Sound good". Everyone in the room was laughing and my face turned red, but I also laughed at what Hope said. Sometimes I couldn't tell who was older Hope or myself.

"Sorry kiddo, am kinda nervous and scared, so for a minute there I forgot who I was talking to. So in lame-man's English you miss-thang have cancer and I know that you know what that means. Dr Bailey is going to run a few more tests one of them is to make sure that it is the type of cancer that we think it is and the other tests are to ensure that it has not spread to your other organs."

Hope looked at Lexie and then back to Dr Bailey as she tried to understand what was going on in her body . She knew what cancer was , she remembers Lexie reading My Sister's Keeper and then renting the movie for them to watch. After they watched the movie Lexie had explained to Hope what cancer was and how they were different types of cancer.

"So let me get this straight, I have cancer right" Dr Bailey nodded her head in affirmation. "Okay then, so what type of cancer do you think I have? I know you said you are going to do more tests but I just want to know what you know right now". I knew Hope was practical person she understood things better when they were explained to her.

"The cancer you have affects your bone marrow, its curable with chemotherapy or radiation. And if that does not work you will have to have a bone marrow transplant . I know it might be a lot to take in and I understand, because I don't understand any of it myself. I love you and I'll do everything humanly possible to make sure that you are okay. I promise". There was a slight tremor in Lexie's voice and Hope knew that she was about to cry. Hope took her hand and started making small circles at the back of her hand in an effort to comfort her "Hey Lex its all going to be okay I know that and you have to believe that too. That's what you always say to me so its going to be okay, remember my name is Hope and there is a reason for that."

I couldn't love Hope anymore than I did in the that moment, to everyone else it didn't make sense why Hope was the one comforting me instead of the other way round . But for us that's how it worked we seemed to know when to be strong for the other. And right now Hope knew she had to be there for me because I was going to be there for her when she needed me.

Dr Bailey took that has her cue and order Alex and George to bring Hope to radiology. She also instructed Lexie to find something to do so as to keep her mind off things or contact her family and let them know what was going on. At the mention of family Lexie tensed and Hope looked at her knowing that there was no family to contact.

I looked at Hope and smiled at her and then turned to reply "Don't worry Dr Bailey our family already knows". Dr Bailey could sense that something was off but chose to say anything further.

While Hope was having the tests done I decided to finish off the charting I was doing before she got a call from Hopes' school. I was sitting at the nurses station trying to keep myself busy when I felt someone staring at me, I lift her head and met Meredith gaze on me. I didn't like getting into it with Meredith not that there was anything to get into, but I couldn't shake the feeling that nothing good was going to come from this interaction. Nothing ever did anywhere.

I looked at her "Is there anything I can help you with Dr Grey?". Meredith just kept staring and said nothing, but eventually noticed that I had caught her staring. She said nothing, turned and walked away. I just shook my head and went back to charting and I started muttering to myself how thing around the hospital kept getting weird by the day. I was so deeply engrossed in what I was doing that didn't notice when Dr Sloan came to that nurses station but I felt his presence.

"If I didn't know any better I would say that you are on the wrong floor the psych ward is three floors from here". I lifted her head to see Dr Sloan standing there in all his glory, I didn't know why but there was something about this man that was so in-tune with me. More often than I should care to acknowledge, I found myself gravitating towards him.

"Uhm, were you saying something to me?" I asked as I tried my hardest not to blush.

"I said the psych ward is three floors from here if you are that into talking to yourself. I think you can do that freely over there. Anywhere can you run these to the lab for me and get me suture and IV kit from the supply closet. If that isn't much to ask for you since its your job as an intern. I'll be in room 412". I couldn't for the life of me believe how rude and obnoxious the residents and attendings' were at the this hospital. Was it really that hard to say please or to be at least polite, I understood that am an intern but that didn't make me any less of a human. With that thought in mind I went and did what Dr Sloan had asked me to do.

After grabbing the IV and suture kit I made my way to room 412.

"Dr Sloan the kits you asked for and the lab said the results will be ready in an hour. Is there anything else I can assist you with". I spoke to him in the most polite voice I could master in front of the patient, but I guess Dr Sloan could hear the slight disdain and irritation in my voice.

He turned to face me as if he was going to say something but saw the look on indifference that I had, and I guess he chose not to say any thing. "That will be all Dr Grey for now, just page me when you get the results from the lab". Mark turned his attention back to his patient and I left the room.

I couldn't figure out what it was about the attending that got me flustered every time we were in the same proximity. I told myself I had by far more important things to worry about other than my misguided fascination with Dr Sloan.

An hour later I got a page from the lab to collect the results. As I was on my way there Dr Bailey paged me and I knew it was about Hope's results. As much as I wanted to know about Hope's results I knew that if I wanted to stay out of trouble I had to give Dr Sloan the lab results first and then go back to dealing with my personal issues.

I quickly made my way to the lab and got the results, then asked one of the nurses to page Dr Sloan and let him know that the results that he was waiting on from the lab were back and he could get them at the nurses station. After that I went to look for Dr Bailey, to say I was anxious is an understatement. I had a feeling of what the results were going to say but having it confirmed out loud made the whole situation real.

"Dr Bailey you paged?."

"Oh Lexie the person am looking for I was about to send a search and rescue team after you." She said in a teasing tone I could tell that she was trying to lighten up the tension but it was there. "Sorry about that I got your page, but I had to collect some results from the labs from Dr Sloan. So tell me what it is that you found and where do we go from here." I didn't want to waste time dancing around the situation and I guess she knew it too.

"Okay the biopsy confirmed that Hope does have AML, her MRI,ultra sound and X-rays came back clean which is good because we both know that the cancer has not spread to her other organs. I know its a lot to take in and all of this is really scary for you, but like I said that I'll do everything humanly possible to help you out. That being said you have to prepare yourself for all the possibilities that come with having a child with cancer. There will be days when it all seems to fail and all you want to do is quit but don't stop believing in the medicine and in Hope. I can tell that she is strong and she does look like a fighter. Believing is half the battle and the other half is up to God and the powers that be."

Just has Dr Bailey finished giving the little pep talk Dr Sweender from Oncology entered the room.

"Dr Grey am Dr Sweender Head of Oncology, am sorry we had to meet like this wish it were under better circumstances. Dr Bailey just bought me up to speed with Hope's results and from the biopsy results I think our best course of treatment is Chemo and Radiation for now, but if she doesn't respond she will need an allograft. Am going to put her on the transplant list now so that we are prepared when the time comes, but I hope it won't come to that. Hope's cancer is very aggressive and if not treated immediately it will spread fast, so that being said I say that we start her chemo ASAP, maybe the day after tomorrow. If you agree I'll get start preparing her treatment plan."

I couldn't think straight let alone breath, I felt as if the walls in the room were closing up on me and I didn't have a way to escape. My body just went into auto-pilot and I took the Hope's file out of Dr Sweender's hand and signed the forms that I needed to sign and told her that I'll go along with whatever she will plan all I wanted to to help Hope heal and fight the cancer. I needed to breath and I needed space to think and just to let all of this sink in before I went and explained things to Hope. I gave back the file and asked to be excused.

There was only one place in the hospital that I found peace and quiet, as morbid as it sounds it was the morgue. It was the most peaceful place in the hospital, the dead did not find the incessant need to put in their two cents in whatever I was dealing with. They would just lie there and listen and right now that is what I wanted I didn't need anyone telling me that it was going to be okay or that I was strong and could do it. All I wanted was to vent and who best to take out the frustrations of my world than the dead. Tim the coroner knew me and when he saw me enter the morgue he just nodded his head and left me there.

"Okay am back, some of you know me by now and some of you are new at this. Well am Lexie and today I have a very different problem that I need you guys to listen. So many of you know Hope, well the sun in my life has cancer and its the aggressive kind. The doctors have told me that they will do everything to help her. The doctor in me believes that they will be able to help her, but the all intents and purposes parent in me does not want to believe that she does have cancer and knowing what is ahead of her its killing me.

Since the day she came into my life all I have wanted to do was to protect her from all the bad that is in this world. I wish I could bare this for her but I can't, she's all I have in this life and if I lose her I don't think I'll able to go on. For as long as I can remember it's just been me and then out of no where I had Hope. She has been the sun in my world, as cold and dark as the world is to me with her the darkness and cold just disappears and its all replaced by light and warmth.

Its funny how the little things in our lives matter the most, you know the smiles, the odd 'please, thank you or sorry',the pout or the beautiful sound of laughter. When Hope came to my life I vowed that I would never take those small gestures for granted and to think that I may never get to experience those things again it hurts."

While Lexie was busy talking to the dead, little did she know that Mark was there listening. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he had come to the morgue to ask Tim something when he heard someone talking.

"Do you do this lot?". He asked as he gestured towards the black body bags that were on the examination tables. I turned her head to see who it was. When I saw that it was Dr Sloan I felt embarrassed and angry at the same time.

"How long have you been standing there and how much of my conversation did you hear?". I couldn't believe that he was there and had heard me rant about my fears to a bunch of dead corpses.

"Long enough to hear things that I know that am not supposed to know. Am sorry I didn't know that you were here, I was looking for Tim. I didn't mean to eavesdrop." Mark started to walk towards where she was sitting and seat next to her. He didn't know why but he suddenly had a strong urge to be close to her and he wanted to pull her into a hug. Something that he has never done before.

"I know its none of my business but who is Hope?". Mark had heard that one the interns had a child but didn't know which one since he wasn't so invested in the hospital's rumor mill. I turned my head to face him, I saw the curiosity and concern in his eyes and didn't understand why he was interested in me of all the people in the hospital. I knew that he disliked interns and made no secret about it, but now he was appearing to be human and actually being concerned in someone else who wasn't a patient. I felt to tired and exhausted to argue with him so I decided to just let it go.

"Well Hope is my daughter for intents and purposes." My voice was small and there was a slight tremor in it as if I was going to cry. "Oh, so I take it from the conversation you were having with the dead that there is something wrong with her?". There was a genuine concern in his voice and I could not believe it. "You don't have you tell me anything, like I said that its none of my business and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to". Mark made a move to leave, but I just needed to talk and if he was willing to listen then by all means I was going to talk. The dead might be good listeners but having someone respond wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Hope has not been feeling well the last couple of months, she's eight. She has been constantly complaining that she is tired, fevers, night sweats and pain in her joints. The doctor in me I guess felt that there was something was wrong, but the parent in me over took the doctor and I figured it was because of the move and that she was just being a child. Now I think about it I guess I was just in denial you know. No parent wants to hear that their child is sick. Last week her fever was really high and I bought her to get checked and Dr Bailey said it might be an infection , so she gave her antibiotics and we went home. She took the antibiotics and the fever broke, but then today I got a call from her school saying that she fainted in class and she had a bruise on her arm.

I picked her up and asked where she got the bruise and said that in the morning she bumped her hand on the door as she went into class, but the bruise was so big and really purple. As if she had been badly hurt. I bought in so that Dr Bailey could have a look at it and try and see what caused her to faint. I could have taken her to her pediatrician but I felt that there was more to the bruise and the fainting spell. Dr Bailey ran her blood work first and it showed that Hope has AML, so that she was sure she did a bone aspiration and biopsy. Then she did an MRI, ultra-sound and took some X-rays to make sure that it hasn't spread to her organs". I turned to look at Mark who looked as white as a ghost. I had to nudge him to make sure that he was okay

"Hey are you okay?, I didn't mean to off load on you am sorry". I nudged him again and this time he responded.

"Sorry I didn't mean to zone out on you, uhm... wow ….I don't know what to say". Mark ran his hair he had never been good at giving advice. According to Mark this was Derek area expertise, he would know what to say. Lexie could feel how uncomfortable he was about what she had just said, so she decided to say something "Hey you don't have to say anything, that why I came in here. The dead don't talk back they just listen and they don't dish out advise. Which means I can make up my mind objectively and if it turns out to be a bad decision I don't have anyone to blame except for myself". She hoped that would ease the tension that seem to building in him.

The doctor in Mark took over and asked"Whats the prognosis and treatment options that are there for her?". Lexie knew what he was asking and saying it out loud made it even more real than she wanted it to be but there was no turning back she had opted to open up to make so she had to be honest with him. "Dr Sweender the Head of Oncology is on her case and she said that the prognosis is good seeing that we detected the cancer early. They are going to start chemo the day after tomorrow and if chemo doesn't do much for her then they will try radiation. Worst case scenario is an allograft, so they are going to put her on the transplant list so that if the time comes we won't be caught off guard. Well I hope the chemo works and that she doesn't need the allograft. I have to go a tell Hope whats happening you know with the cancer and treatment. Thank you for listening you didn't have to but you did so thank you."

Lexie stood up and made her turn to leave as she reached the door Mark spoke up "Am not good at this talking thing and half the time I turn to say the wrong things, so I avoid situations in which I have to. But am good at listening, am like the dead only the only difference between us is I make sounds, so if you ever need anyone alive to talk to am willing to listen. I hope everything works out well for you and Hope, Bailey is a good doctor so I can safely say that you are in more than capable hands. I don't know about Dr Sweender but if she's the head of the department then am guessing she's good at her job. And I meant what I said when I said if you need someone to listen am here".

Lexie gave him a polite smile and thanked him once again before leaving. After Lexie left Mark just sat there not knowing what to make of the conversation he had just had with Lexie. He didn't know much about her except that she's Merediths' half sister ,that she didn't know and didn't have the desire to know.

Mark mauled over their conversation and realized that he hadn't picked up on Lexie's relationship with Hope when she referred to her as a 'daughter for all intents and purposes'. She did look young to have a daughter that old, but in todays' society there is no young or old so anything was possible. The more he thought about everything the more curious he became, to some degree he was fascinated by her. Who talks to dead people as if they were alive and she didn't show any indication of being slightly disturbed by the fact that she was in a morgue.

Mark decided he wasn't going to read much into his conversation with Lexie, so he set out to find Tim which was the reason he had come to the morgue.

Meanwhile Lexie made her way to Hope's room to explain to her what was going on. When she got there she found Hope asleep and didn't have the heart to wake her so she decided to just sit and wait for to wake up. Lexie decided to savor the moment because it were times like these when Hope slept that she had a peaceful expression on her face. Just looking at her sleeping form Lexie knew she would everything to keep that expression on her face.

She ran hand through her hair and whispered lowly "Sleep well my sun, when you wake up your world is going to be different".

**A/N: Thank you for reading,**_ Please Review ( am also open to thoughts on how you want the characters and story lines to develop within reason), if I get 5-10 reviews I promise to upload Chapter 2 with a sneak peek of Chapter 3 in the next 72hrs._


	2. ChemoRadiation Results

**A/N: **_Hey beautiful people, thank you for the reviews, story alerts and story favs. I appreciate. Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while, but I'll try updating regularly._

_Here's another chapter and hope you enjoy!_

DISCLAIMER: _I do not own Grey's Anatomy, though I do own Hope._

_HOPE~Chemotherapy/Radiation (6 weeks later)_

"Lexie,Hopes' blood work is back and it seems the Induction treatment is not working. Am afraid that Hopes' AML is refractory. We have given her three treatments of the chemo and two of the radiation but her marrow still has leukemia. As aggressive as the treatments were, they aren't not helping her. This means that Hope will need a bone marrow transplant as soon as possible. Am going to check the donor registry to see if there is a match, if there is we will go ahead and do the transplant.

But Hope has a rare blood type and finding a match on the donor registry might prove to be difficult, so I'll encourage you and your family to be tested for a match. I'll let you know what I can come up with in terms of the donor marrow". Lexie was sitting in the conference room with DR Bailey and Dr Sweender discussing Hope's treatments so far.

Its been a long and hard six weeks for both Lexie and Hope. When Hope started her chemo treatments she didn't take them well she was nauseous and tired all the time. After the third treatment Dr Sweender decided to try Radiation cause the chemo was not working. Lexie was there with Hope through the chemo and radiation, at the same time going to work. Juggling the two was starting to take a toll on her, but she had no one to do it with.

In all this she managed to make a friend in Mark. It seem as if all the time Lexie went down to the morgue Mark would show up. At first she thought it was weird, but after a few coincidences she had a feeling that his showing up had something to with her being there.

Like always the morgue was Lexie's sanctuary within the hospital walls. After the first round of chemo she could barely hold it together and when she went to the morgue, Mark showed up and she cried on his shoulder. That was the first time that she opened up to him. He had been really supportive considering that he was dubbed mean to all interns and residents. He listened and he would occasionally drop by Hope's room. Lexie had introduced him to Hope and they hit it off.

Hope had a way with people and so did Mark, they were fascinating to watch when they were together. It was as if they were trying to out charm each other.

After her meeting with Dr Sweender and Dr Bailey, Lexie ran for the nearest supply closet. She just wanted to wrap her head around what she had just been told.

Lexie was lost in thought that she didn't hear the door open. The intruder cleared his throat, Lexie lifted her head and saw a shadow that she was now well acquainted with.

"I saw you come in here from the nurses' station, thought you might need some company". Mark said as he continued to make his way into the small space. He sat himself next to Lexie and took her hand and squeezed it tight. "Do you want to talk about it or you would rather we sit here in silence?" Mark still holding her hand. Over the few weeks he had learned how to read her moods, but there was something different about her today. And he did know whether she wanted to talk or not.

"Hope isn't getting any better. Even the radiation is not working. Dr Sweender just told me that Hope still has the cancerous cells in her marrow. A bone marrow transplant is the next step and it has to be soon. The...th...the chances of her getting the marrow are really slim. She has a rare blood type. Am going to get tested but I don't think I'll be match", Lexie said in between sobs "It's …..it's so hard Mark, I don't think I can do this. I cant lose her. S...she ….shes' all I have in this world and for the longest time it was just me. I can't go back to that life again" her body was now shaking as each sob wrecked through her body "I just can't Mark I can't".

Mark didn't do well with crying women, but in the last few weeks that his known Lexie he was getting the hang of it. Though sometimes it did throw him for a loop especially right now. He didn't know what to say or what to do for her. She sounded so lost and broken. Instead of saying anything Mark just pulled her into his arms and hugged her really tight.

Lexie held on to him as if her he was her lifeline. They didn't say anything to each other. They just set there in silence lost in their own thoughts. Lexie's pager went off and it was Cristina paging her. Lexie growled she wasn't in the mood of dealing with Cristina and her snide comments about her.

Lexie stood up and looked at Mark "Thank you for listening, I have to go Yang is paging me and if I don't go now she's going to be on my back and am not in the mood for that" Lexie started making her way to the door.

"Okay, if you need anything just page me. I don't have any surgeries for the rest of the day so don't hesitated. I'll pass by Hope's room after am done with my post-ops'" Mark said to Lexie as she was about to leave the closet.

Lexie left the supply closet and made her way to the clinic where Cristina had paged her to go.

"Dr Yang you paged" Lexie said as she made her way to were Cristina was standing. "Three I paged you ten minutes ago where the hell have you been?, You know the rules." Cristina said in a harsh and authoritative voice.

"Uhmm...sorry Dr Yang I was just talking to Dr Sweender about Hope, I didn't come late on purpose" Lexie said in a small and timid voice.

"I don't care what you were doing. When you are paged you expected to answer your page promptly. I know you have to deal with your daughters problems but that's no excuse for not being able to do your job okay." Cristina said as she handed her a pile of charts "I need you to redo these charts and I need them done before your shift ends. I don't want any excuses, you have been slacking off and that's affecting my work. There is a reason why interns don't have children, it affects your ability to do your job...".

Cristina has always been mean to Lexie, but this was taking it to a whole new level. Lexie didn't mind when people spoke about her, but Hope was different story. Hope hadn't done anything to warrant Cristinas' behavior and Lexie wasn't going to let it slide

"Excuse me what did you say about Hope?" Lexie asked with a disbelieving look on her face "Look, let me make one thing straight. You can say whatever you want about me and to me. I don't care, but you will not talk about Hope that way and you will leave her out of whatever petty feud you have going on with me". Lexie picked up the charts and left Cristina standing there with a surprised look on her face.

She didn't mean to lash out at her resident like that, but after her discussion with Dr Sweender she was just on the edge. She knew it was wrong to take out her frustrations on other people, but the thought of not being able to help Hope scared her.

Lexie decided to go find Dr Sweender so that she could get tested for the transplant. She would deal with the charts after her test. She was just anxious to know whether or not she was a match. And charting wasn't going to ease her anxiety.

While Lexie was responding to her page from Cristina, Mark decided to visit with Hope since he didn't have any surgeries scheduled for the rest of the day.

Ever since Mark's first encounter with Lexie in the morgue, he came in every now and then to visit Hope. The two got along very well. Hope was one naturally happy child and her disposition was highly infectious. Ever since Lexie had introduced the two, Mark would find himself in her room after having a bad day. To Mark, Hope seemed to have a special way of making the bad not seem terrible. Her resilience astounded him, for a kid who was facing a life and death situation Hope made the most of her situation by staying positive through the chemo and radiation. Mark admired that in her, most adults would have given up on life, but one thing Mark knew, was that kids are stronger and resilient especially when they are sick.

He still didn't know the story behind Lexie and Hope, but he had a gut feeling that whatever their story was it was something big. He didn't ask Lexie much about her relation to Hope, but something Lexie had said to him the first time he spoke to her still played on his mind '_my daughter for all intents and purposes'. _That statement had been bugging him, but like he said to her then it was none of his business. If she wanted to him to know, he was sure she would tell him.

Over the last few weeks Mark had learnt the Lexie was a very private person. Their conversations many pertained to Hope or work, nothing personal. He didn't push for anything personal, he stayed true to his word though. That he would listen if she ever needed someone to talk to.

His friends and some of the staff were starting to question his budding friendship with the young intern. Derek and Callie had confronted him about it, one night when they where at Joes' for drinkings after work. They thought that he was just being friendly with her cause he just wanted to sleep with her. Mark was appalled by his friends implication, but considering his track record he couldn't blame them. Though this time it wasn't about sex, it was out of genuine concern for someone else other than himself.

Before he knew it, Mark found himself standing outside Hope's room. He lightly knocked on the door to get her attention. She looked like she was deeply engrossed in the book that she was reading. Hope spent most of her free time reading.

Hope lifted her head from the book, and when she saw who it was, she smiled. It was a smile that Lexie called the 'Mark smile'. According to Lexie, Hope only smiled like that for him only. And Mark did love that smile, it tugged on his heart strings in way that he didn't understand.

"Hey Hope, thought you might need some company, since Lexie is working. But I can see you are busy with your reading" Mark said walking into the room gesturing at the book on her lap.

"Mark!" Hope almost screamed. She was actually thinking about him and was hoping that when Lexie came to see her, she could ask her to page him. "I was thinking about you, you didn't visit yesterday". She said timidly.

Mark could see that his absence affected her "Am sorry Hope, I was on my way to visit, but I was paged for an emergency surgery. By the time I was done it was really late, and I didn't want to disturb you".

"Plus you know how Estelle gets when you wake her 'favorite girl'"he said teasing her. Estelle was one of the Hope's favorite nurses and she was also known as the Nazi amongst the nurses, so no one crossed her.

"That's okay if you were in surgery, I just missed you that's all. Now that you are here, we can finish the book we were reading the other day. Lexie wanted to read it to me yesterday, but I told her she can't cause its our book" Hope said as she got of her bed to get a copy of '_The little Engine That Could'._

Mark saw the book when he was passing by a bookstore at the mall. Seeing the book reminded him of his nanny when he was a kid. She would read it to him every night when she put him to bed. Sometimes she would read him the book when his dad belittled him. He bought book for Hope, with the thought that it would help her through her treatments.

"Sure and you know what, I think we can finish it today. I don't have to go anywhere unless I get paged". Mark made himself comfortable in the chair next to her bed. He took the book and opened to the marked paged.

Hope came to where he was sitting and sat on his lap. She made herself comfortable and laid her head in the nook of his neck. Mark wrapped his hand around her protectively and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Mark cleared his throat and started;

_'After a long, long time, came a little, small engine, humming and hurrying along, whistling and ring her bell in the very liveliest fashion._

_So the little Train-of Cars cried out "Little engine, could you take us over the mountain? Our engine has broken down, and we're loaded with toys for children on the other side."_

_now the little, small engine had never been far away from the freight yard. But, she did not mean to let those children go without toys if she could possibly help it._

_So she answered, "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!."...'_

Mark and Hope were so caught up in their reading that when Lexie came to the door they didn't even notice or hear her. Lexie just stood by the doorway admiring the scene before her. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of them sitting there reading. To an outsider they just looked like father and daughter having a moment. It was very serene and beautiful to see them like that.

Lexie felt a slight ping of guilt because life had robbed Hope of that Father/Daughter experience. As she stood there, she thought that after everything that Hope had been through, life would at least show some kind of mercy for her. It had to add cancer to Hope's list of trials.

She quietly stepped out of the room not wanting to disturb the two. She wanted to find the nearest supply closet, so she could just cry in private. Lexie didn't like crying, she had been told growing up that crying is a sign of weakness. But lately she just couldn't help herself.

Just as she was about to make the corner she bumped into Meredith.

"Sorry I didn't mean to bump into you" Lexie said trying to keep herself from breaking down.

"Uhmmm...that's okay just watch where you are going" Meredith replied hurriedly as she side stepped her. Meredith didn't expect to see Lexie on the peds floor, not after Cristina had told her, she had given her a bunch of charts to redo.

Lexie looked at her and just nodded her head, then continued on her way. As she was walking away she started wondering what Meredith was doing on the peds floor. This wasn't the first time that they had run into each other on this floor. Lexie started asking herself a lot of questions, did Meredith know about Hope?, Did she know who Hope was?, How could she have found out?, If she did why hasn't she said anything about it?. Lexie couldn't shake the feeling that she was something amiss when it came to her half sister. Her sister issues were not important at the moment, she decided she will deal with that some other time. Right now finding a donor for Hope was priority.

Ever since Hope was admitted at Seattle Grace, Meredith found herself loitering the halls of the peds floor on a daily basis. Sometimes she would stand outside Hope's room and just watch the little girl. There was something about Hope that drew her in. Estelle her caught her standing outside a few times, but she would just give an excuse about checking up on patients. Meredith waited until Lexie was out of sight and made her way to Hope's room.

She stood outside as always and saw Hope sitting on Mark lap while he read to her. Meredith didn't know why, but all of a sudden she had an urge to go in and pull Hope from Mark's lap. The wave of jealous that hit her, left her feeling weak. She had only felt like this once in her life, and that was a memory she had worked hard to forget.

Seeing the two of them so comfortable with each other made her angry despite the jealousy she felt. Why did seeing this little girl with anyone even Lexie make her so angry and affect her so much? And most importantly why was she so drawn to her?. Meredith didn't want to draw attention to herself so, she decided to leave. She knew what she doing wasn't healthy, others would deem it stalking or creepy even. But she couldn't help herself. The need to know how Hope was doing surpassed her rational thinking. She also knew that one day Lexie was going to figure out that she's been coming to see Hope.

Just as Lexie was about to enter one of the supply closet on the peds floor her phone started to ring. She was expecting a call from her friend Lisa in Boston. Earlier on when she went to get tested for the marrow transplant, Lexie decided to ask her friend to get tested too. She knew it was a shot in the dark, but it would hurt to try.

Lexie looked at the caller ID and it was Lisa calling "Hey Lis, please tell me you have some good news? Cause I could use some right about now" Lexie said as she left her stomach start to churn with anticipation.

"Am sorry Lex, I just got the results and am not a match. Am really sorry dear. I wish there was more I could do for you and Hope" Lisa's voice sounded through the phone. Lexie could tell her friend was really sad that she couldn't help them, but she appreciated the effort.

"That's okay Lis, I know you would do anything for us. And when I asked you to get tested I knew that there was a high probability that you wouldn't be a match, but I had to try" Lexie told her in the strongest voice she could muster at the moment.

"Thank you for doing this for us and I just don't mean getting tested for the bone marrow, but also for being a good friend through all of it. I really am grateful for everything you have done for us and continue doing for us" tears were starting to flow from Lexie's eyes.

"You know I would do anything for you and Hope. And it kills me that I cant be there for you right now. I love the both of you and I know that its going to be alright. It might not seem like it right now but it will be. Her name isn't 'Hope' for nothing"

"I know Lis, but sometimes its hard to keep the faith especially when things don't seem to be working out. We love you too Lis and miss you so much. When Hope is feeling well, we'll come visit..." just as she was about to continue her pager went off. It was Dr Sweender paging her, she knew it had to do with her test results.

"Hey Lis I have to go, am being paged. I'll call you later with an update about the donor". They said their goodbyes and Lexie made her way to Dr Sweender's office.

She knocked on Dr Sweender's door just to alert her of her presence. Lexie opened the door and saw that Dr Bailey was in there too. The looks on their faces told Lexie everything she wanted to know.

"Lexie please come in and take a seat" Dr Sweender gestured to the chair next to Dr Bailey.

"Well I just got your results back and am sorry Lexie you are not a match. I have gone through the donor registry and unfortunately there's no match either. Dr Bailey and I have been discussing what step we should take next until we find a donor.

We can keep doing the radiation treatments until then and hopefully we can find a donor before its too late. I know that the treatments are going to be hard on Hope, but right now its our only option. As we all know that finding a donor for her is going to be hard I would urge you to ask your friends and family to get tested. I will continue looking through the registry just in case something comes up" Dr Sweender could see Lexie's heart break literally. Lexie had been strong through all of this but Dr Sweender had a feeling that this would finally break her.

Dr Bailey took Lexie hand and squeezed really tight. As a parent she knew how hard all this must be for Lexie. The feeling of not being able to do anything for for your child is really awful.

She saw the pain in Lexie's eyes "Lexie it will all work its self out, we just have to believe that there is someone out there whose a match. Like Dr Sweender said ask your friends and family. I am going to get tested too. I can understand what you are feeling right now. If it were Tucker I would give my life for him. But through it all you have to stay strong, not just for you but for Hope."

Lexie just sat there with tears streaming down her cheeks. She could tell that Dr Bailey was talking to her but, all she could hear were muffled sounds. She didn't mean to zone out. Today had been tough day for her. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse it gets terrible. How was she supposed to tell Hope the one person that had promised to ease her fears and take away her pain could not do that. She had failed her.

Hope had been such a big part of her life and her family for the better part of it. She could not imagine her not being in it. As she sat there she tried to think of ways to help Hope. She had already asked the one person she knew would do anything for them. She didn't have any friends in Seattle. Since moving from Boston Lexie had no time to make friends. She was busy all the time. Being an intern, working long hours and taking care of Hope. A social life was a luxury she couldn't afford.

Lexie was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Dr Sweender and Dr Bailey leave the room. When she noticed that she was alone, she just let the weight of her world weigh down on her. She sobbed so hard her whole body was racking with every sob. Instead of feeling weak with every sob, she felt a little stronger.

When the tears stopped, Lexie felt better. She just sat there trying to get herself together and then it struck her.

There was one person that had a high chance of being Hope's donor. Just thinking about it sent a cold rash down Lexie's spin. But she had no choice. She owed it to Hope to at least try. The worst they could say was no, and that she could live with. Knowing that she had done everything humanly possible, to give Hope a shot at life.

It was now time for her to stand up for herself and show the people around her that she wasn't as weak as they thought she was. What she was about to do was surely going to leave enemies in the wake, but she didn't care. It was time to fight her toughest battle yet, time to fight for Hope.

With that in mind Lexie left Dr Sweender's office. She grabbed the charts that Cristina had given her. She wasn't going to redo them, so she decided to give them back to her. Lexie saw Cristina and Meredith standing at the nurses station on the cardio floor.

"Dr Yang, here are the charts that you asked me to redo. Unfortunately I wont be able to do them. I have very important personal business to attend to. You might want to find someone else to do them" Lexie said in a very serious tone as she places the charts in front of her.

"Three, I gave you these charts in the morning. Did I not tell you that I want them done before your shift ends?. Do you I can have you thrown out of the program?". Cristina looked livid, she couldn't believe Lexie had the guts to speak to her like that. And this was the second time in one day.

"I know what you said Dr Yang, and right now I don't care what you can and can not do. Write me up or get me thrown out of the program I don't care. Like I said, I have very important and urgent business to see to." Lexie turned and left the two residents stunned.

Meredith was shocked by Lexie's behavior. Usually Lexie was the polite and respectful. She smiled and was always happy, that Meredith and her friends dubbed her bright and shiny. This other side of Lexie was a huge surprise to her. She silently wondered if it had anything to do with Hope

Lexie went to the Chief's office to asked for the rest of the day and week off work. She wanted to focus on Hope. Juggling both work and Hope wasn't the right thing to do. She left the Chief's office and herded for the bank, hoping like hell she would make it before they closed.

Lexie was about to open a can of worms...no scratch that she was about to open a closet, whose skeletons and demons, she was sure weren't suppose to come out.

**A/N: **_I know this chapter was very Lexie heavy. I wanted to plant a few seeds like_

_1) Whats Hope and Lexie's connection and why does Lexie refers to her as her daughter "for all intents and purposes"_

_2) Why is Meredith so drawn to Hope and her feeling towards Hope's interaction with other people?. Why is Lexie worried about Meredith finding out about Hope?_

_3) Who's closet is full of skeletons and demons? Who's person that can be Hope's match...etc_

**_Chapter 3; _**_answers some of the questions, it will also contain a sneak peek into Lexie's childhood, revelation of the contents of a certain Manila Envelope. Some serious Mark/Lexie bonding. _**_SO STAY TUNED..._**

**Thank you for reading, **_Please review!_


	3. Behind Door 'Numero Uno'

**A/N:** _Hey beautiful people, thank you for the reviews, story alerts and story favs. You all keep me motivated. Apologies for all the grammar and spelling mistakes._

_N.B: Internal thoughts are in italics._

_Here's another chapter. Enjoy!_

**DISCLAIMER: **_I do not own Grey's Anatomy, though I do own Hope._

_HOPE~Behind Door 'Numero Uno'_

Lexie made it to the bank in record time. Armed with her key to the safety deposit box she made her way in and asked for assistance, to gain access to the box. She need an envelope that was in there. When she first got the two envelopes, she never thought she would have to use them. Guess life has a way of preparing you for the unknown.

After collecting the envelope Lexie drove back to Seattle Grace trying to psych herself up for what she was about to do. She prayed like hell that she was doing the right thing. When she reached the hospital it was raining lightly. Lexie got out of the car stood in the showers. Facing the sky as she let the tiny droplet hit her face, and whispered "Sean and Katie, she's your daughter too. Please let this be the right thing to do. Give me a sign please, anything. And grant me the strength I need".

Just as she finished saying that the showers turn to a full on down pour. Lexie took that as the sign she had asked for. Not wanting to get any wetter than she already was, Lexie ran inside. She went to the locker room to change into some dry scrubs, not wanting to catch a cold. As she changed, she felt her resolve strengthen. This was the right thing to do. Lexie left the locker room in search of Meredith.

Lexie approached the residents lounge with slight hesitation. She started giving herself a pep talk "Its now or never Lex, you can do it. She just as human as you are so whats the worst that can happen?" Lexie said quietly as she knocked on the door.

"Come in" said a voice on the other side of the door. Lexie let herself in. she searched for the person she was looking for and found her seating next to Cristina and Izzie. They seemed to be going over some notes. Lexie felt bad slightly for disturbing just in case it was work related.

"Excuse me Meredith, can I please have a word with you?" Lexie asked in a timid voice. Meredith looked up to her, this was their third encounter today and Meredith didn't know what to make of it.

"Uhhhmmm...sure" she said looking back at her friends "You have to make it quick cause am busy, I have to do some research for my surgery with Derek". Meredith gestured to the papers that strewn around them.

"Oh...Okay, but can we talk in private" Lexie looked around the room full of residents. Meredith turned to her friends who all had questioning looks. Everyone knew that the two sisters never spoke unless it was work related. Cristina not wanting to be out done, took it upon herself to question why Lexie wanted to talk to 'her person'.

"What do you want three?, Are you done with you supposed personal business?. We are busy..." before she could finish Meredith cut her off.

"Its okay Cristina, we can talk Lexie". Meredith started to herd out of the room, before Lexie followed her, not before throwing Cristina a dirty glare.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Meredith said, standing away from the closed door. Lexie didn't want to have this discussion in public.

"Not here, please come with me" Lexie spoke as she led Meredith away from the lounge. They walked towards the basement. As they drew closer Meredith started to feel apprehensive about Lexie's intentions.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked unsure of whether she wanted to continue going on.

"The only private place I can think of in this hospital. I think it used to be some sort of clerks' office" Lexie replied standing in front of an office door. She opened the door to let them in. there was a desk, a bunch of file cabinets and a few old chairs.

"We should sit down. There are a few thing I need to talk to you about and I think its going to take a while".

Skeptically Meredith pulled out a chair and sat down "Lexie whats this all about?" she questioned with confusion written all over her face.

Lexie sat down and looked at her sister. '_This is it Lexie, you can do it...think about Hope'. _Sighing heavily Lexie made herself comfortable.

"Uhhhmm...this has to do with Hope. I don't know where start. Am nervous, so please let me just gather my thoughts for a second" Lexie said as she rubbed her temples. Meredith didn't know what to say, so she just sat there and waited for her sister to start talking.

After what felt like forever to Lexie, she finally found her voice.

"Meredith there are things that I want to share with you. But for you to understand I have to give you a brief outline about my childhood and how Hope came to me or should I say came to be mine. I know you believe and say that am '_Bright and Shiny'_, but I haven't always been like this. Contrary to popular belief my life hasn't been all smiley face posters and all the jazz."

Meredith didn't know what to make of Lexie's statement. She didn't do well with emotional issues and suddenly had a huge urge to leave, but curiosity got the best of her. So she decided and hear what Lexie had to say.

"I was five when I was removed or taken away from Thatcher and Susan Greys' home by Child Protective Services. At first my social worker told me that I could be able to go home in a week. But then, a week turned into a month, and a month into a year. I was moved from one foster home to the other. Thatcher and Susan never came for me and when I turned eight I officially became a ward of the state.

I got a new social worker and was put in a group home. Every couple of years I was put in a different home. My junior year in high school I was put in my final group home for those between sixteen and eighteen. I didn't have anything growing up except for school. I work hard in school cause I wanted to become a doctor.

The woman who was in charge of my last home, 'God rest her soul' encouraged me to work hard and apply for scholarships to med school. She helped me find an after school job when I turned sixteen. I saved every dollar I made School came easy for me photographic memory and all, so I got an academic scholarship to Harvard".

Lexie kept her eyes on Meredith as she spoke. She wanted to make sure that she was really listening to what she was saying. Meredith on the other hand was in a state of shock. When Lexie asked to talk to her she did not expect her to say what she had just said. She just could not believe what her ears were hearing. Sure she knew very little about Lexie, but no one could tell just by looking at her that she had such a childhood.

Seeing that Meredith was still paying attention, Lexie decided to continue her story,

"I used my saving to go to move to Boston, my scholarship was academic so I had to get job and a place to stay. Lucky for me on my first day on campus I saw a flyer for a live-in nanny, that's how I met Sean and Katelyn Logan.

Sean and Katie had just moved to Boston from Chicago with their two year old adopted daughter Hope. They offered me the nanny job and, a place to stay in the studio apartment above their garage. It was a good setup for all of us, we worked out a schedule around my classes. They were good and kind to me. I should say they were my first shot at a family, considering my childhood.

I had worked and lived with them for almost a year and a half. One night they were coming home from a charity gala for rape victims, when a eighteen-wheeler hit their car. They dead on the spot". Lexie was gazing on a spot on the wall behind Meredith as she remembered that night. Meredith loud gasp bought her out of her memory.

Lexie turned to look at Meredith whose eyes were watery. Meredith didn't know why but her heart was now pounding in her chest, her hands were slightly shaking with anxiety. Her mind was in over drive as she tried to process what Lexie was saying. 'T_his cant be what I think it is. Please let it not be …...it cant be...'_ her thoughts screamed. Lexie noticed her sister's shaking hands.

"Uhhhmm... Meredith are you okay? Your hands are shaking" Meredith hadn't notice the the shaking hands. She quickly removed them from the table and tucked them beneath her thighs

"Am...am...aaaam okay, pl...pl...pleas...e continue" she stuttered.

"Are you sure? I can stop if its too much for you". Lexie didn't want to push it. She knew the next part of this conversation was really crucial.

"Okay I'll continue, but I think you need to clam down first. You look like you are about to have a panic attack" Lexie said as she pulled out a bottle of water out of her bag. She passed her the water and hoped it would clam her a bit. Before she continue Lexie took out the envelope she had collected from the safe deposit, and placed it on the table.

"The next morning their lawyer came to the house. I didn't know what to do, you know?. The thing is Sean and Katie had no family. Sean was raised by his grandmother and she dead a few years back. Katie was an orphan, she grew up in the system. Since moving to Boston they had made a few friends, but they weren't really close with any of them. So I thought Child services was going to come and take Hope. That thought alone scared me more than anything, seeing that I had been there and let me say its not a pretty place to be. Am not saying the system is all bad. It works for some and for others it doesn't work.

So when their lawyer showed up I thought, he had come to tell me that I had to hand Hope over to C.S. But that wasn't it.

He gave me this letter" Lexie reached into the envelope and pulled out a folded paper. She gave it to Meredith. She knew Meredith wouldn't read it there and then, so she decided to explain the contents of the letters to her.

"You can read the letter when you have time, but in short Sean and Katie named me Hope's legal guardian. They gave me an option whether to keep her or have her put back in the system and hoped like hell that she would get adopted by good and kind people. I loved Hope even though I was just her nanny I did love her. The thought of her in the system killed me. Having being there I didn't want that for her and I would never wish that for anyone. So I agreed to be her legal guardian.

After signing the papers, the lawyer handed me these" Lexie pulled out a few more papers and photos from the envelope. And placed them on the table. As she spread the papers on the table, Lexie thought to herself '_ Here goes nothing'_.

"These are copies of Hope's adoption papers, her Birth Certificate, her birth medical records and a few photos of her when she was born". Lexie looked at Meredith wanting to see her reaction to papers in front of her.

Meredith looked like she had seen a ghost, all color was drained from her face and Lexie could literally hear her heart beat.

Meredith could not believe what she was looking at. When she agreed to talk to Lexie, this was not even on the list of things she thought she wanted to talk about. She couldn't breath, all of a sudden the room felt so small. She was starting to feel dizzy just by looking at these papers. Meredith didn't even let herself look at the photos cause she would lose it. She was barely breathing properly and felt herself come apart at the seams.

Lexie knew if she didn't continue, they would never get to the end of this. From were she was, she could tell they were both barely hanging on.

"Hope is your biological daughter Meredith. And she's sick" Lexie said softly and quietly almost like a whisper, but there was pain in her voice.

"I know that this is a huge surprise and that you are in shock right now, but I need to explain a few things before you say anything.

When I read through these documents and realized that I shared the same last name as her biological mother. I didn't think anything of it, I just thought they were just similar names. I had no intention to find you regardless of the situation at the time. You have your reasons for giving her up for adoption and I respect that.

After graduating from Harvard, I felt Hope and I could use a change of scenery. I thought moving back here wouldn't be so bad and this hospital offers one of the best surgical programs in the country. When I applied for the internship here, I didn't know you worked here or that you even lived in Seattle. I didn't even know I had siblings or half siblings until I started working here.

Moving to Seattle had nothing to do with Thatcher or Susan, it was solely for Hope and I. I know a lot of people want to find their parents when they turn eighteen, but not me. I have no desire to seek out Thatcher or Susan for whatever reason.

When we both found out that we were sibling you made it abundantly clear that you did not want anything to do with me and again I respect that. The reason why I have come to you now is because I need to ask you for something. I never wanted to ask you for anything in life, not in this life or the next or the one after that. But I have no one to turn to.

Hope needs a bone marrow transplant. There isn't a possible match on the donor registry, due to her rare blood type. I got tested on the off chance that I might be a match but unfortunately am not. I have no family except for Hope and my only friend who's in Boston is not a match. All am asking is for you to get tested to see if you are a match or not. You can go up to her room and look at her charts or ask Dr Bailey. Am not asking you to donate, that will have to be a decision you make on your own. Whether you donate or not I'll not hold it against you. If you are a match.

Like I said before I don't know your reasons for giving her up, but I know for sure that you cared about her. You could have aborted her when you found out you were pregnant, but you didn't. You took care of yourself when you were pregnant with her, so that she could be a healthy baby. You gave her up for adoption with strict instruction that she be adopted by good and loving people, you cared about her that much. I have the letter you wrote to her, which you wanted her to be given when she turns eighteen. You cared Meredith and I hope you still care now for her like you did back then. You named her Hope for a reason.

I'll respect your privacy and am not going to tell anyone. Its your story to tell. Am sure Dr Bailey can do the test and keep everything private. We don't have to tell her you are her biological mother. We'll say that you are doing me a favor as my half-sister" Meredith could hear the desperation in Lexie's voice.

"I am not above begging at this point" Lexie sighed. She didn't know what else to say. To Lexie she had said all she needed to say for now. There was still a lot to talk about, but now she felt, she had done enough.

For Meredith this was a lot to take in. When she woke this morning, she just thought it was going to be a normal day. Fight to get in on the good surgeries, shout at the interns, go to Joes' for drinks with her friends and then go home to her boyfriend. Never in a million years did she think that her day would end up like this. Her world was now Topsy-turvy.

When she left Chicago all those years ago, she never thought she would ever see her daughter again. Much less have a half-sister take care of said daughter. Was this some sort of karma she thought to herself. Just when she thought that she was getting 'whole and healed' life throws her another curve ball.

"Lexie...Le...Lexie" was all that came out of Meredith mouth. "..." she tried again and nothing came out this time. Meredith picked one of the photos, she had one just like it. She hadn't looked at that photo in years and seeing it again just made everything more real. She closed her eyes and lightly traced over the photo with her fingers. The way she held it was as if it would light up in flames, if she pressed to hard.

She had a strange mix of emotions and feelings coursing through her body. Anger, awe, disappointment, emptiness, depression, excitement, resentment, embarrassment, bitterness, sympathy, conflict and a lot more. How was she suppose to deal with all this.

Lexie knew she needed time to process all this and her sitting there wasn't going to make the processing easier or faster. So she decided it was best she left her to her own thoughts.

"I know you need some time to process all this. Am going to go, when you have made a decision you can come find me. I'll be visiting with Hope. You can keep those" Lexie pointed to papers on the table "I have my own copies".

For the first time in a while Meredith found her voice "What am I supposed to do with them?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"I don't know Meredith, burn them, shred them or keep them. You can do whatever you want with them". Lexie replied as she stood from her chair to leave the room. She opened the the door to leave "Thank you for listening" and with that she left the room.

"Hey Mark can I ask you something?" Hope said to Mark as she looked up from the puzzle they were putting together. Mark had left Hope for a while after they had lunch together to check on some of his patients, with a promise of coming back to help her with the puzzle.

"Sure, kid. What do you want to ask?"

"When are you going to ask Lexie out on a date?, And before you say anything, I see the way the two of you look at each other. So I know you like her and she likes you too." She said as a matter of fact.

Mark didn't know how to answer Hope's question. Yes he and Lexie had been spending a lot of time together, but according to him it didn't mean that they liked each other in a romantic way. Lexie had found a confidant in Mark, and they had become good friends since that day in the morgue. What Mark fail to see was that, even though Hope was a kid. She was very perspective and mature for an eight year old.

"I think you are going blind, kid cause its not like that with Lexie and I" He said teasingly "We are just friends, nothing more".

Hope smirked at him, were they really blind she thought to herself. "Okay...if that's your story. But regardless you should just ask her on a date. Lexie never goes on dates, even when we were in Boston. All she did was go to school, work and take care of me. And me being in here isn't helping her any". Hope averted her gaze from Mark, all she wanted was for Lexie to take a break and have a little fun for once.

Mark knew that Hope was mature beyond her age, but this took him by surprise. He didn't think that Hope notice all the things Lexie did. Especially for her.

"So let me get this straight, you want me to ask her on a date cause she doesn't go on any" He asked wanting to really understand what her intentions were.

"I just want her to have a break and have some fun Mark. I know am just a kid, and am not suppose to know about these things. But I can see how Lexie doesn't smile as much anymore and she's always tired. Her laugh is off, its like she's forcing herself to laugh half the time. Before her laugh was like church bells chiming" Hope spoke in a small and timid voice. She looked away from Mark not wanting him to see her teary eyes.

Mark knew how hard Hope's illness was on Lexie, but some how he had missed how it was affecting Hope. Looking at the little girl that he had come to care about very much, that's when it hit him. Hope had been doing a good job hiding her feelings from him and Lexie.

Just as he was about to say something Lexie came into the room.

"Hey guys!, sorry I haven't been around much today, been really busy" Lexie spoke as she gave Hope a hug. She held her tight and longer than usual. It was if she was trying to make sure Hope was still there. She closed her eyes and inhaled her scent, trying to relish the moment.

Over her shoulder Hope looked at Mark with a look that said '_see what am talking about_'. The scene in front of Mark's eyes was so tender yet, heart breaking. Knowing what he knew from what Lexie had told him in the morning. He wish he could take away both their pain, but he didn't how.

"That's okay Lex, Mark has been here practically the whole day. We read for a while, then had lunch, I napped for a while and now we are put together a puzzle. Do you want to help? Mark isn't really good at this. So I think we could gladly use your photographic memory. Can't we Mark?".

Mark chuckled at Hope's remark. He knew this was Hopes' way of trying to help Lexie. "Sure kid, but I don't agree that am not doing a good job at this. And having Lexie help with the puzzle is cheating" he teased.

The three of them worked on the puzzle, chatting and teasing each other. Mark and Hope did their usual banter, which always amused Lexie. Sometimes Lexie couldn't believe that this was the same Dr Mark Sloan, who instilled the fear of God in the interns and residents. He was so care free with Hope. It was as if she knew two different people. '_someday he will make an amazing father'_ Lexie thought to herself.

Being in their presences, hearing their laughter and chatter, made Lexie forget about the problems for a moment.

Her moment was short lived as Meredith knocked on the door. All three of them lifted their heads to the door.

"Uh-hmm...Uhm hey" she timidly waved her hand to the three occupants of the room. Meredith felt as if she was interrupting a private family moment. The feeling she had before when she came to see Hope and found Mark reading to her resurfaced. She glared at Mark first, then turned her gaze to Hope who seemed surprised to see the guest and then to Lexie who looked slightly anxious.

"Sorry I didn't mean to disturb..." her sentence trailed off she didn't know what else to say. As if Lexie could sense her hesitation and discomfort, decided to jump in.

"Oh...no you are not disturbing, please come in. Uh-hmm...Hope this is Dr Meredith Grey, Meredith this is Hope." she wasn't sure how to introduce the two. Lexie had told Hope about Meredith, only how she was her half-sister. She explained how they didn't know each other, hence their non-existent relationship as sisters. Mark was shocked by Meredith presence. He knew she didn't like Lexie and made no secret about it, so her presence did surprise him.

"Hello Dr Grey, its nice to finally meet you" Hope extended her hand to greet Meredith. Hope smiled at Meredith, despite what she knew about the woman in front of her. Lexie had always taught to be courteous and kind to everyone, regardless of your feeling or opinions about them.

Meredith could not believe that this was her daughter, the little girl in front of her didn't seem sick. Her smile was beautiful and warm. For a moment Meredith felt regret and hurt wash over her. She could feel tears feel her eyes, but she couldn't allow herself to cry, not in front of these people. '_I can't be in here, I can't be in here...this is too much'_ she thought to herself.

Uhhmmm...it's nice to meet you too Hope. Lexie can I have a word with you outside please?" she asked with a slight tremor in her voice leaving the room.

"Sure..." she stood from her seat, but before leaving the room she said "I'll back okay, you guys can continue with that puzzle" to Mark and Hope. Mark looked at Lexie intently, he didn't know what to make of this very awkward situation. He narrowed his eyes at her, giving her a questioning look.

As if Lexie could read his mind, she just shrugged shoulder and followed Meredith out of the room.

"Was that weird for you, as it was for me?" Hope asked Mark trying to making sense of what just happened.

"Yes it was" Mark replied facing the door, then something dawned on him "Hey Hope did Lexie tell you who Meredith is?" he asked curiously.

"She did when we moved here. Lexie didn't even know she had a sister" Hope replied as she returned to her puzzle.

"Do you know whats weird? I asked Lexie if we were going to hang with her? You know since their like sisters. She told me that Miss Meredith didn't want anything to do with her, which I guess automatically means she doesn't want to know me too. I just don't understand, aren't brothers and sisters supposed to like each other?".

Mark knew Hope's question was valid, he had been asking the same question. But not know the dynamics of siblings, seeing that he was an only child himself. He didn't have an answer.

"I kinda understand what you mean kid. I don't know how the whole sister or brother thing works, am an only child. But you are right, its weird how Meredith doesn't want to know you guys. From where am standing its her loss though, cause you and Lexie are really good people."

"Am not really worried about that, I just find it weird that's all" she said not really caring.

"Hey, we didn't finish our discussion from earlier, have you thought about the date?" Hope said with more enthusiasm.

Mark sighed not wanting to talk about it "Okay I'll make you a deal, give me some time to think about it and I'll let you know".

"I'll take that for now, but don't think I'll forget" She said sternly, wagging her finger at him.

The two fell back into easy conversation about everything and nothing.

Lexie followed Meredith into an empty examination room. She starting to feel nervous again, at this point her nerves were frazzled.

Meredith cleared her throat to speak "I've thought about what you asked and I'll get tested. I paged Dr Bailey, she'll be here soon. We are going to tell her that, am doing this as a favor for you".

"Thank you, you don't know how much this means to Hope and I. And like I said before I will respect you privacy Meredith. Hope is your story to tell".

While they were waiting for Dr Bailey, Meredith thought about her brief interaction with Hope. "Lexie can I ask you something?".

"Sure"

"Back there, Hope said 'Its nice to finally meet you' who did you tell her I was?" Meredith drummed her fingers nervously.

"I told her the truth, Hope and I have an open relationship. I tell her things like they are, though I didn't tell her you are her biological mother. When she turns eighteen according to your instructions I will give her the letter. She knows you are my half-sister. That Sean and Katie were her adoptive parents, who loved more than anything in this world".

Meredith just nodded her head in understanding. It had been a long day and she honestly didn't know how she was feeling about a lot of things.

They sat there in silence waiting for Dr Bailey, each lost in their own thoughts. After what seemed like forever, but it was only a couple of minutes Dr Bailey came in with a test kit.

"So Meredith you are getting tested?" She asked as she put on some gloves.

"Yes, Lexie asked. When do you think we can get the results?".

"Uhmm... I'll put a rush on the results. So first thing tomorrow morning. Thanks for doing this for Lexie, am sure it means a lot to her and Hope".

Dr Bailey got down to work, but something in the back of her mind kept telling that there was more to the Grey sisters than what they let on. She wasn't one to pry, sooner or later she will figure it out.

Visiting hours were over and it was time for Lexie and Mark to leave. This was the worst part of Lexie's day. Leaving Hope behind everyday was the hardest thing she had to do. Even though she knew, she would get to see her the next day. It didn't make it hurt any less.

Mark and Lexie said goodnight to Hope, but before they left Hope reminded Mark about their deal. Lexie wanted to know what it was, but he assured her, she would know soon enough.

On their way out Lexie's phone started to ring, without looking at the caller ID she answered "Hello..."

"Is this Lexie Grey" sounded a voice through the phone she hardly recognized.

"Yes this is she. Who am I talking to?".

"Its Dr Shepherd,...uhmm I don't know how to ask this, but is it possible for you to come over to Meredith's house. I just got home from work and found her in the shower. It seems like she's been in there for while now. She wont move and she keeps saying your name. Cristina and I have tried to help her, but she won't respond. I don't know what to for her..." Derek's voice trailed through the phone.

Lexie didn't know what to make of this, why would Meredith ask for her? Did it have to do with their conversation this afternoon?.

"Sure I can come over, am just leaving the hospital" Lexie replied still not sure if she should go.

"Thank you Lexie, see you when you get here" With that Derek hang up the phone.

Lexie turned to Mark who was looking at her quizzically, "That was Derek on the phone. He asked if I could go over to Merediths' house".

"Why would Derek want you to go over?" Mark found the request odd.

"He said that, Meredith isn't very responsive. He found her in the shower and it seems like she's been in there for a while. He said she keeps saying me name".

Lexie realized that she had never been to Meredith's home before. This was uncharted territory for her and it made her unease. She decided if she was going to go, she was going to ask Mark to come with her.

"Lexie, I wasn't going to ask, but would please tell me what going on?. You have been AWOL the whole day and, you looked liked you aged ten years when you came to Hope's room. And then Meredith comes to Hope's room, then the two of you leave together. Now Derek is calling you asking you to go over to their house. Should I be worried?" Mark asked as they made their way to the parking lot.

Lexie knew she owed Mark some sort of explanation. He has been good to Hope and her.

"Mark I know I owe an explanation about today. Will you please take me to Meredith's house?, I have never been there before. I'll tell you what has been going on today on our way there".

Mark agreed and on the way to Meredith's Lexie decided to give Mark the cliff note version to the story.

"Okay, am going to give you the short version of it. Some of the things I can't say just yet, but I promise when the time comes I'll tell you.

Remember our first day in the morgue, when you asked if Hope was my daughter?. And I said she was for all intents and purposes".

"Yes I remember" Mark replied quickly wanting her to continue.

"Well I'm Hopes' legal guardian. Her adoptive parents were killed in a car accident when she was almost three and half. I was her nanny and they named me as her guardian in the event of their death. They gave me the choice, whether to look after her or not. If I didn't take her, Hope would have been put back in the system.

Mark I grew up in the system...".

Lexie didn't get to finish her sentence. Mark abruptly slammed on the brakes, of all the things that he expected to her from Lexie, this wasn't one of them.

"You what?" Mark asked as he tried to get the car off the road. When they were safely on the shoulder of the road, Mark turned to face Lexie. He always had a feeling that there was more to Lexie. He looked at her incredulously.

"Like I said before Mark, this is just the cliff note version of the story. Right now we don't have time for the who's, whats and why's.

So like I was saying before, I grew up in the system and it wasn't that good for me. I didn't want that for Hope, so I agreed to be her legal guardian. Dr Sweender told me that I wasn't a match for Hope's transplant and that there were no viable matches on the donor registry. As you know I don't have a lot of friends around here and even in Boston. I need to find someone who's a match, so I asked Meredith. I cant tell you why I asked her yet, but I will when the time is right.

I know Derek and Cristina are going to have a lot of questions which I can't answer. I need you to be on my side please, I'll answer any questions you have after we leave their place. I promise". Lexie tried to explain.

Still in a state of shock, Mark agreed and started driving again. It didn't take long before they got to Meredith's place. When they got out of the car, Mark pulled Lexie into a hug.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear "Its going to be okay Lexie, am here for you. If it becomes too much in there, just let me know and we are out of here, 'kay".

Lexie felt safe in Mark's arms and knew she could count on him regardless. He had been a great friend to her and regardless what people said about him, Lexie saw the goodness in him.

"Okay, thank you for doing this with me" she said as they walked up to the front door. Mark took a deep breath and rang the door bell.

"Here we go..." As he saw the door open.

**A/N: **_I hope that answers some of the questions from Chapter 2. Now a few questions for Chapter 3_

_Is Meredith a match? And if so will she donate?_

_What's going on with Meredith's?_

_Will Meredith tell Derek about Hope?_

_Is Mark going to ask Lexie on a date? Or will he continue hiding behind the friendship card?_

**Chapter 4; **_Someone else is going to volunteer to be tested, Meredith's meltdown and an in-depth look into Lexie's childhood. _**_SO STAY TUNED_**

**Thank you for reading,**_ Please Review!_


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